I Answered My Own Question.

As you can see, underneath my blog posts I have a list of reactions. After my post about blogging burnout, two of you said I needed to drink more and I did just that. I pretty much spent my Friday, Saturday, and Monday nights heavily intoxicated. During my drunkenness I answered my own question about gingers having souls.

Assuming this is true, I love only having 75% of a soul. It allows me to engage in (what some would consider) questionable behavior without giving a fuck. And that is pretty awesome. The world needs more gingers!

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Don’t Worry I’m Not Dead…

just incredibly lazy about updating my blogs. Well besides that, incredibly stressed out with work. I’m having that all too familiar feeling we all have, the “I don’t get paid enough to put up with this bullshit!” feeling. I think it’s more than a dilemma though than a feeling. I’m actually thinking about falling back on my plan of finding a sugar daddy, participating in a medical research study, or becoming a stripper. At the moment though I don’t particularly feel like dealing with men, pretending I have depression, or learning how to walk in 6 inch clear high heels.

Decisions, decisions. Maybe I should have a root beer w/vanilla vodka before finishing my rant.

…okay I’m back, slightly buzzed, and ready to finish my rant. I’m not completely drunk though because I can still type, but obviously you’ve figured that out by now. Also, those people who asked for my advice, I’ll be answering your questions in my next post. I didn’t forget about you!

But anyways, I’d like to propose a toast to all my readers who have fucking horrible jobs! (Taking a pause to drink) I know since the economy sucks, we should be thankful that we even have employment, but when I have to Google, “how to find a sugar daddy” we have a problem. I also have a problem with the hiring lady at Forever 21 asking me if I’m a college graduate when I ask for an application. I’m not going to go to the University of Washington just so I can have the opportunity sell trendy clothes part-time to teeny boppers for minimum wage!

I know we all have to have crappy jobs when we are young. Waiting tables, babysitting, et cetera is just one of those things you have to do. I think it helps build character and it will make you appreciate the day when you (hopefully) land your dream job. Plus bad work stories make the best subjects to gripe about after a couple of drinks! But when does a crappy job cross the line into unacceptable? I don’t know the exact point right now, but subsisting on ramen noodles and handing out countless resumes is starting to look more and more appealing.

My solution to my problems: have a couple more drinks, get someone to drive me to Jack in the Box because breakfast food sounds really good right now, and take some time to think deep thoughts about my options.

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Dear Random Bar Guys,

You’re an interesting bunch of people to say the least. I know it’s not fair to judge you because of a few bad apples, but for the sake of my letter and sanity, I will.

But really, you are an interesting bunch of people. I already had to write a PSA regarding your strange behavior, and now…well you’ve really hit an all-time low.

I’m not sure who taught you how to talk to women, but whoever did should be shot with a high caliber machine gun until they resemble Swiss cheese. Whatever happened to: “Hi. What’s your name? I’m...Nice to meet you!” Then followed by regular small talk. ?????????????? Only a fraction of you did this! What the fuck?!?!

Here are my favorite lines of the night from the lagoon creatures I encountered:

“Hey, yo, light skinned girl…” Does my skin color really matter?

“If I was your boyfriend I’d never let you out the house looking as hot as you do.” Wow! That is insanely creepy.

“Hey Jenna or whatever your name is, can I get your number?” No, and my name is not Jenna, it’s Gina or Gigi. Not that you really care.

“You dance really good for an anorexic looking girl.” Thanks for that back handed compliment asshole. And it’s called a fast metabolism.

“Fine then, I don’t need your number anyways! Why don’t you and your mosquito bites go to the bar and get drunk!” Uh why do you think I’m at the bar in the first place? And “mosquito bites”?, I wrote a whole public service announcement about this.

“What you don’t date gangstas/brothas/(racial slur)?” I don’t creepy guys. And although I’m light skinned, I’m actually mixed, so don’t play the race card with me.

“You’re pretty hot…for an emo girl.” Another lame attempt at a backhanded compliment… I’m confused as well since I don’t even look emo.

“If I got you drunk enough, I bet you’d go home with me.” This was my favorite line from the night. I could write an entire post about this sentence alone it was so awful. There is no amount of alcohol in the world that would have gotten me to go home with you.

I’m almost at a loss of words because of this strange behavior. The fact that multiple guys said this bullshit makes me lose faith in the male species. I believe that everyone has a soul mate, but did mine get hit by a bus or something?!

Your behavior needs to change guys.

Sincerely,
One Pissed Off Woman

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About Me

Well I let you ladies (I’m assuming most of you are ladies) decide what my next post should be, and you chose yours truly. This is also a perfect chance to introduce myself to visitors from Beauty By Krystal.

How old are you? I am going to turn 22 on January 3rd.

What do you do? I work as a caregiver, and I’m an accounting student, although I’m considering going to cosmetology school.

What do you do in your spare time? I read, write, watch TV, Google random beauty topics and videos on YouTube, and any random hobby that catches my interest.

Have you really made a Café Mocha Vodka Valium Latte? Not yet.

What was the last beauty item you purchased? Some Ardell “Holiday Cheers” lashes. They’re really long and covered in rhinestone sparkles. I have no idea where I will ever wear these, but they were 50% off, so I couldn’t resist.

Have you accomplished any of your Beauty Resolutions? Slowly but surely I’m working on it! I’ve already found my signature scent! Read the full article here. . . http://thebeautydepartment.com/2011/12/beauty-resolutions/


Why does your blog only have one beauty related article? I started this blog just to chronicle my petite hot mess self. It’s kind of like an online diary where I can talk about my crazy thoughts and hopefully entertain some of you. While I love anything hair, makeup and skincare related, I don’t want to feel trapped into one particular blog niche.

Are you really planning for the Zombie Apocalypse? Hell yeah I am! I think everyone has their own feeling about the end of the world, and I choose zombies. Even with all the planning in the world though, I still don’t think I’m ready!

What is the meaning behind “Lunacy and Best Wishes?” I wish I had a good answer for you! After a couple of shots, I let the vodka tell me what it wanted!

Thank you everyone for your e-mails! Any more questions, feel free to ask me. If you’re visiting from another blog, have a look around and comment/share/whatever!

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Do I Have A Soul?

Who started the trend about redheads/gingers having no soul? I’m curious because I have a question to ask them.

I didn’t think about this until just today, but my Grandmother was a ginger. She dyed her hair blonde most of her life, but she had a mane that rivaled Carrot Top’s…Okay I feel bad comparing her to Carrot Top, I’ll say Christina Hendricks instead, even though CH isn’t a real readhead.

So since my Grandma Francess had the same color hair as Christina Hendricks, does that mean that I only have 75% of a soul?

Will this explain all my questionable decisions? Will this explain my wacky state of mind? Is 25% of me just some hollow vessel? What is going to happen to me when I die? Dammit these are serious questions and I demand some answers!

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World War Z

I’m pretty convinced that, hopefully not in my lifetime, the Zombie Apocalypse will happen. I’ve studied The Zombie Survival Guide to know how to survive. I’ve also read World War Z and know the devastating physical, emotional, and environmental effects of said war. (I also wrote a badass English essay about those effects as well!)

Without Max Brooks’ words of wisdom and common sense, I would be hopeless.

But anyways back to my random thought of the day. . .I live on a ground floor apartment, if Resident Evil: Real Life should occur, I would be a goner.

In every room of my apartment, with the exception of one bathroom, there is a window. How in the hell am I supposed to defend myself?! I can’t have zombies climbing down into my bedroom window while another swarm of the undead breaks through my sliding glass door in the living room. I could barricade myself in, but since zombies have unlimited stamina, it would only be a matter of time before the undead would feast upon my slightly alcoholic flesh.

In my studies of the Zombie Apocalypse, it is critical to have a plan b, and plan c, and et cetera. My newest plan is to keep watching the news keeping an ear out for the keywords like, “cannibalism” or anything, “highly contagious”. Hopefully I will have a head start and make my way to the nearest marina. From there I shall find a sailboat and prepare for the incoming war.

Is my planning for a ridiculous, hypothetical event absolutely crazy? Yes indeed it is. But it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

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A Good Thing or A Bad Thing?

I was getting off the ferry the other week. As I passed the people waiting to get on the ferry, I made eye contact with an EXTREMELY attractive man. Normally I get pretty awkward around any somewhat decent looking man- but this time a miracle happened. We made some rather intense
contact. It's the first time in years that I've felt butterflies in my stomach. The EXTREMELY attractive man I checked out and thought naughty thoughts about. . . my ex boyfriend.

Was that a good thing or a bad thing I did?!

Now today I crossed the border into Crazy Town. I looked him up on Facebook. Upon looking at his profile picture, I can without a doubt confirm he IS NOT the same man from the ferry.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?!

I thought I was looking at my ex but ended up giving a complete stranger my best bedroom eyes. Is my memory really so bad I can't remember the face of a guy I dated? Now I'm debating looking at that missed connections page I keep hearing about. Or even worse- sending a nonchalant "hey I thought I saw you" message on Facebook.

Both are crazy.

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Dear Unemployment,

You are something I am way too familar wth, like the sticky note in the bathroom tht reminds me I need to shave the back of my legs.

I fill out repetitive applications and still you don't reply. Day after day I edit my resume and watch bad reruns of the Tyra Banks' Show. As you can tell, my sanity is frail.

I'm not asking for much. Hand me a spatula, I'll flip burgers. I'm getting desperate here. I'm a Capricorn so you know I have a love of money!

I do have a confession though. . . I'm considering participating in a medical research study. . . or becoming a stripper (which ever is the shorter drive). The money would be decent and the pills would be abundant. Or maybe I could find a sugar daddy! I seem to attract older men.

I will forever have fond memories of being too poor for $1 Bud Light drafts and eaing ramen noodles every night. But in all honesty, I hope you go the fuck away and never come back.

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